I am human

What makes you and me human? I thought I knew and now I have realized I know more than I should.

I have stepped back, more than often, to see how I react to situations and the observation is shocking yet so real.

So many times I do or say things just because I am expected to, not because I want. Its almost like being a slave to my instincts!

Its almost like the body and the mind is programmed & psychology is now scary than exciting.

And arent friends supposed to be the rare 'species' who would understand that? And look beyond!

I am human, and finding it all quite absurd :)

Alone and strong

Thats how I feel, thats how it all ended, thats how everyone and everything moved on.

And a day I would rather erase from my life if I could, not because of how it was, but because it has messed me up, and left me lost just when I thought I'll make it through just alright.

I am surprising myself, I am looking right ahead, I am telling myself to rise above.

Just another start or an end? Thats irrelevant, because we are all going in circles, and yes, coming up tails as well.

Moksh is breaking the circle.

I am trying, everyday.

But I choke myself on human emotions, and spill over every now and then.

Now, I WANT TO BE ALONE. And pretend to be strong.

But who am I?

A passage from 'A passage to India'

"Most of life is so dull that there is nothing to be said about it, and the books and talk that would describe it as interesting are obliged to exaggerate, in the hope of justifying their own existence. Inside its cocoon of work or social obligation, the human spirit slumbers for the most part, registering the distinction between pleasure and pain, but not nearly as alert as we pretend. There are periods in the most thrilling day during which nothing happens, and though we continue to exclaim 'I do enjoy myself' or 'I am horrified' we are insincere. 'As far as I feel anything, it is enjoyment, horror' – it's no more than that really, and a perfectly adjusted organism would be silent."

...

Religion of nothing

At the doorstep of faith, I choose to just stare at the overflowing emotion of hope; of gratitude; of nothing
selfish; maybe I am, I choose when to believe
foolish; maybe I am, for belief is not a decision

Nothing coming out of nothing does not explain the universe
For I can see life going from nowhere to the eternity of false hope
under the veil of ignorance; forever

and one might just affect the other; religion to fill in for nothing, and nothing to negate meaning of religion

Normality

the nakesness of it all is blunt, and perhaps in times of nothingness,
meanings found are authentic, for if we exist in circles, depth leads to the core order,
but its just electrical signals travelling through nerves, so then where do we actually exist?
the body is more than an instrument, and beauty more than appearance
and the mirror does lie, and trust is just a hope.